After being alerted that my twin brother had not been heard from in two days, my boyfriend Jason (Lt. Colonel George Jameson) and I went up the street to check on him. We couldn’t get in the front door and had to call the police. When we finally were able to get into the dark apartment, when the police officer shined his flashlight toward my brother’s bed, him lying dead on the floor was the last thing I thought I would ever have to see. I never thought in a billion years that my twin would not be alive to watch the full series, let alone the pilot. The main male character is named after him. (Michael)
My world has changed. My existence as changed and Summer Ray has changed. “Grief is a beast,” as my friend Cindi told me. So what does this mean for Summer Ray?
“How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.” Acts 10:38
I have to go back into the story and maybe slow down the narrative. Summer’s brother dies in the story and I don’t allow her the necessary time to grieve, nor do I bring up her brother’s suffering and struggles. Which I now understand is a huge mistake. When people think they are alone in their grief, it causes a downward spiral. I know the Lord Jesus Christ is the answer for our pain because as the Bible states:
“He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.“ Isaiah 53:3-5
We try to carry the grief ourselves and fail miserably. We try to cover the pain with all kinds of vices that only adds to further pain. Dealing with my own grief, I cannot allow myself to look to anything but the Lord to save me. I don’t want to create more suffering for my family. See, Mike is where he wanted to be. But if he had dealt with his own grief the right way, he would have survived his own losses and would have been able to see the light and the beauty of being able to breathe. I am absolutely not suicidal. I am grieving for my twin brother because I only wanted him to be happy. This is just not the happy that I wanted for him. But he is no longer suffering. I have to somehow take all of my own pain and use it for good. The only way I know how to do that is if I dive more into the story of Summer Ray and open up some very hurtful things. Maybe this will help others in their own pain, to help bring them restoration and recovery. I just know I cannot stay in the pits of sorrow.
If I slow down the narrative, the full feature pilot may not exist. We might just have a full fledged made for TV series with 45-50 minute episodes that could run for several seasons, with seven books – it’s a lot of work. But I am up for it and my cast and crew will be too.
Thank you for being a vital part of our Summer Ray world.
Bible reference: www.biblegateway.com; KJV