Sometimes, I just stare at a blank page and wonder what I am going to write and then, wonder how I am going to accomplish what I need to. Like today, for about five minutes, I just sat looking at this empty blog post – too tired to even care about anything. My motivation up and left as I have so much to do. Then I was reminded about the incredible images I saw of a person looking up at a very tall ladder that looked like it reached the sky. One picture had the ladder rungs that was missing like 5 rungs, so the step up would be a lot harder. Then the 2nd picture was just a normal ladder. And the caption said, “This is why we have steps.”
I feel like I have so many different projects that each only get a little piece of me at a time. I am not just working on Summer Ray, I have books that I am writing; training for the ice skating program in the film; I am a mom and Grammy; working on my health; crocheting; wanting to get more involved in the community and what is going on in our country; WISHING I could do this, or WISHING I could do that! Then I had this epiphany. Wishes are simply me not being interested enough, to do or to go after what I am wishing for. What I have made goals, are not wishes. They are actual facts that will become a reality at some point.
“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” Julie Andrews
“Perseverance accomplished what at first seemed impossible.” Colonel Henry Knox American Revolution
Perseverance is defined as: “persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.” Persistent is defined as: “continuing firmly or obstinately in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition, tenacious, determined.” My fiscal sponsor Carole Dean of From the Heart Productions (www.fromtheheartproductions.com) once told me, “Tenacity is the backbone of a filmmaker.” If we don’t have the grip to hold on through all of the ups and downs, we will let go and give up. So, why bother starting in the first place, if we don’t have the will power to see things through to the end; the finished product; goal, dream or accomplishment? It becomes a never ending cycle of bs and come on, we don’t need any more of that! I might not feel like doing this blog as I am actually forcing myself to write. But if I continue to just stare and say, “I don’t feel like doing this. I have zero energy,” well, I will continue to not feel like doing this and I will continue to have zero energy. So, I need to think of the good things right now. The picture below is volume 1 of the series – This Fair and Blighted Land. I have wanted for years for the books to be in hardcover. (See, I just perked myself up). Finally, amazon is offering them now in hardcover. So, this is an answer to prayer and they truly look amazing. I only have volumes 1 and 2 in hardcover and I will be working on the rest of the series this week. They should all be in hardcover the 1st or 2nd week in October. The book pictured, is what the script was nominated for “Best Feature Screenplay.”
My film company mug arrives today. Which also makes me happy.
These are just little steps that I have climbed that make a huge difference and impact. I need to deal with the step I am on right now, and look up to the next 2 or 3 steps. I have to stop trying to jump to the top of the ladder, when it is still out of reach right now. It is safe to say, I will fall flat on my face, if I try to do that. We have to learn to appreciate where are right now. The funding will find its way to me. The film will be produced and distributed. It is already done in God’s eyes, and He will make it beautiful in HIS TIME. I have learned that over the years and it has taken a lot of the pressure off of me. I can’t and won’t do this without Him. He is the one at the wheel. Just saying that, it brings me peace and back to the place of rest. So, I might not be where I want to be – but we are getting there and that is something to smile about! I am looking up to the next 2 or 3 steps and planning out what they are and what I need to do!