It’s a new day and I have a new mindset. I think I pretty much crashed and burned all of my other mindsets about how I am going to fund this film, now that I have a real working budget. The overwhelming feeling of buried beneath the “how” really got to me. So much so, I couldn’t even think – just crochet. I think I shed a few tears too. Without the budget, I was confident and secure, because I didn’t have anything to really work with. But now reality has hit and I know what I need, which in and of itself is a good thing. It means we have crossed another barrier. We have stepped foot into pre-production and have left development behind. Halleluiah!
First of all, God did not bring this project this far – all the way to the budget to slam the door in our faces. He will complete what He started. But I have to get with Him and think His thoughts about the funding and how to receive it. I KNOW God has it and I KNOW He will provide it. I have to get out of the mentality that I have to be the one to provide it. I can’t do that and the minute I let that go, I found such peace. Why? Because this is God’s project. Summer Ray is going into all the world and preaching the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ just like we are commissioned to. My blogs are international. When the Lord showed me that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I felt relieved as a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. So, now it is just spending more time with the Lord and getting His wisdom and ideas. But I have to have faith that He will answer our prayers. For a split second, not gonna lie as I always try to keep things as real as possible, I did crash and burn my faith. I kind of felt abandoned by God and well, let’s just say my emotions got the better of me.
Thankfully, God is merciful and led me right back to where I needed to be in His arms! God knows the exact moment in time this first film will premiere. It’s exciting. I have worked non stop on this project for over 12 years. I have done most of the work on it and I am being freed up to say, “No! That isn’t my job. We can hire the right person to do that.” I don’t have to try and learn someone else’s job anymore. I had to wear many hats over the last 12 years and it has been both rewarding and exhausting. But it is time for me to be able to hire the right people for the jobs that are simply too much for me to learn now, or jobs that I simply am not suited to learn. A lot of this film stuff is way over my head. I don’t have to, and I cannot do it all. I have a great team now that we need to add to. But it takes the funding and God knows people, including me have to be paid. I have gone all these years without a paycheck and it is time that I too, get paid!
But, I have to seek the way that God wants to fund this film.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”
Matthew 7:7
So, I am asking; I am seeking; and I am knocking.
“For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.“
Matthew 7:8
“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.
For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.“
James 1:6
Like the picture above there is a time to bask in the beauty of the ocean and listening to the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore. But when it comes to faith, we must be strong and steadfast, nothing wavering. We can’t be weak, or flimsy, doubleminded or full of doubt. Why?
“For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.“
James 1:7-8
Double minded thinking, is exhausting! We have to stand firm in our beliefs. I believe that Father God is going to provide the funding. I have to laser focus my mindset and beliefs on that and not what circumstances try to shove in my face. We will get to our premiere, in fact… we are already there! Thanks Be To God!!!
scriptures: biblegateway.com
definitions: merriam-webster; google
THE MEMOIRS OF SUMMER RAY 