This past week, I had the wind knocked out of me. I was called a, “Bad Christian” because I stood up for myself, and for my project. Without fail, I am called that if I have to confront someone. At the same time, I was dealing with some serious health issues and I just crashed! I write these blogs in hopes that I can somehow pull you out of any pit you may have been pushed into, or just got tired and fell into it yourself.
So for an entire day, all I did was crochet. I couldn’t even think straight. However, just because I am a Christian, it doesn’t mean that I am to be bullied, lied to, stomped on or silenced. I don’t just go with the flow, if I feel that flow is taking me down a path of being screwed over. Nope! Some think because I am a Christian woman that I am an easy target. When said perpetrators find out that I am not, they immediately resort to how they are the victim and I am the wicked witch. I should be use to it by now. But attacking my relationship with my God, I take very seriously. I was wounded – even if it was for just a moment. It still hurt. After my day of crocheting, I went on a two hour battlefield walk. To me, the battlefield is like being on the ice. I am free. As a photographer, when I walk the fields, I see and hear things I don’t normally see and hear while driving.
I get to commune with nature and I can hear God more clearly at times. Today, things finally clicked and I understood the need for a TV series, after the full feature pilot is made. I understood the essence of it all, in a way I hadn’t before. God gave me the much needed direction for the funding and had I not been so crushed, I wouldn’t have taken the time to get out on the fields and walk for two hours. My normal walk is only an hour. But today, it had to be longer.
The wind was knocked out of my sails. I was drifting into dangerous waters of self-doubt and loss of hope.
I lost my oars and for just a second, I thought we were sunk. But thanks be to God, I didn’t stay that way. He stepped in and helped me see what I needed to. He guided me safely back to shore and I immediately when back to work on the project! It is in these brutal but precious moments that I become fully aware of how involved Father God is with Summer Ray. He continues to bless us and even in the midst of the storms, He is right there with us. What crushed me yesterday, catapulted me into the right direction necessary for Summer Ray today. Wine doesn’t become wine until the grapes are crushed.
I may have felt walked on and pressed, but I believe like a fine wine, Summer Ray is only getting better with time!