One word that would describe me today is, “OVERWHELMED!” With so many other things going on in my life and in the current state of the elections etc., I crashed. “Overwhelm”is defined as, “bury or drown beneath a huge mass; flood, swamp; inundate.” I felt I was being run over with heavy loads of responsibilities that I didn’t know how to bear. I was worn out and burnt out. I became mentally and physically exhausted. Could I have prevented that? I don’t think so. I think billions of us are under a great deal of stress dealing with this pandemic. But life has to go on. Still when we are faced with so many closures and roadblocks, it can be extremely frustrating. Prolonged stress can lead to collapse.
So, I cancelled all of my exercise and daily activities for the day, just so I could sit up at my desk where my computer is. I had to force myself to make myself useful. I looked at the script and my head started to hurt again. Ninety seven pages of, “How in the world am I going to get you done?,” were staring back at me. I stopped looking at what I wasn’t able to accomplish in the near future and started to think about the scenes that I could. I started doing breakdown sheets and although daunting, it actually made a mountain look like individual smaller hills. The tasks were not so unbearable and the weight wasn’t so heavy. I actually cheered up as I was able to print out permit applications to the Gettysburg National Battlefield. I designed the magnet that will be attached to one of the vans in the film. I wrote down a few scenes that we could officially start to film here shortly.
I can’t think of the whole process being this exhausted already. But, I could sip on some hot chocolate and talk to my team. I could take a few minutes to write this blog. I could research the PA Film Office. Each little step, will eventually take us to the production. I can’t dwell on the film funding. In doing so, will only cause more stress. I have to do what I can as opposed to what I can’t just yet. All I can do, is prepare for the donations and the investors. All I can do, is write a professional business proposal and make sure the necessary steps are done. I am starting to visibly see the scenes as they are being filmed. This visualization, actually helps me to see what is needed on set. I can see snow, fall leaves. I can see wardrobes and how the colors stand out. It’s pretty exciting. Because this tells me we are so very close to the manifestation of official filming. I know what I need to buy or find, to prepare for the scenes. We might not have a full production crew yet. But with what and who we do have, we can start production of some of the smaller scenes. It’s a miracle and something to be very excited about. Always try to do one or two things to keep the momentum going. I might not feel like doing anything right now. But, I was able to still accomplish a few filming goals by just take things in smaller pieces.
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