THE MEMOIRS OF SUMMER RAY

While trying to add a picture to this blog, I accidently deleted two of the top paragraphs. I was almost sick to my stomach…almost. Things like this happen. We can either side-step and move on, or we can wallow in self-pity! Or another option, is both. I needed to do some wallowing for a few minutes. I was really upset. When we work hard at something, only to have it destroyed, it is okay to be upset. It is time wasted and no one wants to feel like they have wasted time, money or effort. But, it is not okay to stay this way. It happens in everyday life. I didn’t mean to delete the other paragraphs and I worked really hard on them. But, I did and I only had myself to blame. So, here I am trying to recover what I had just lost. The words might not come out the same, but the concept will be, and who knows – maybe even better.

I started the blog with the words of how we can become so easily discouraged in this business. Being an Independent filmmaker, is incredibly hard. We don’t yet have the backing of a major studio and we are left to succeed on our own. Which truly, once accomplished, it is quite remarkable. It takes a tremendous amount of fortitude to keep moving forward, when circumstances are staring us in the face and demanding we quit.

Fortitude is defined as – courage, bravery, strength of mind, strength of character, toughness of spirit, firmness of purpose, strong-mindedness, resilience, backbone, spine, spirit, nerve, fearlessness, valour, endurance. Yes! This blog is better already. I didn’t have this in the previous paragraph. But, just typing it makes me feel stronger. I love the word, “resilience.” It means to “bounce back, to recover quickly from difficulties.”  I am reminded of palm trees. They withstand a massive amount of hurricane force winds. They are even bent over to the point their branches touch the ground. But, they are made to withstand the storms and they bounce right back after the storm is over. In this business, it is guaranteed that storms will come to try and stop us from having a successful film – be it a documentary or feature. But, we have to keep our “strength of mind, strength of character, toughness of spirit, and firmness of purpose,”  in tack. These qualities must be in the foreground of our beings, not crushed by becoming disheartened. This causes us to then lose our courage and we get depressed, and we easily lose our focus on the goal. It becomes a vicious cycle.

The last few days I was sad because I didn’t have the motivation to do any film work. But, just because I rest from it for a little while, doesn’t mean I have quit. So, I have to train myself to get a grip, and to recover my own self-control and put my mind and thoughts back into the reality of the positive. Even if we only see negative, we must not get caught up in it. We must turn it around and see by faith. We must speak out our future by our words and our future will eventually catch up to us, with what we have proclaimed. The Bible states in Proverbs 18:21 that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” We have the power within our own beings to promote our project, or to defeat it. Surely, you are not in this to lose or to throw in the towel. I know I’m not! I plan to see this project to completion. But, when I get down and discouraged, I have to forcibly tell myself to stop it. Being fatigued and being disheartened are two very different things. We can be burnt out, but still have the right attitude. But, being disheartened, it is like we are caving due to the current circumstances. We crumble with sadness and we open the door Satan to come in and reinforce his will, instead of us reinforcing God’s!

My confidence is in the Lord, to help me see this project through to completion. Don’t quit. Maybe you only have one more minute till that film funding comes in, or one more mile to go before you reach the top. Just one more time, I hear God saying. Just one more push and it’s done. Throw out your fishing lines in the deep, just once more. The disciples were fishing all night and caught nothing. They were exhausted. But, “When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Peter was like, “Lord, we have toiled all night and caught nothing.” But then he did something that caused his miracle. He listened to what Jesus said,

“And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night and have taken nothing; nevertheless, at thy word I will let down the net.

When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.”

Luke 5:5-6

God knows I have toiled all night and have caught nothing. But nonetheless at His Word, I am going out deeper and letting down my nets for a catch! Catch of what? You might ask? Catch of anything I need to get this film to distribution. Thank You, Jesus! Like Peter, I am listening to the Lord. He knows where the fish are. Like Peter, maybe I haven’t been in waters that are deep enough to catch the right fish. So, do I just give up? No! I listen to the Lord and what He is telling me to do. Like Peter, I have to go out and launch myself and my project into the deep, and let down my nets where He tells me. It might take me to places I have never been before and talk to people I have never met either, but – He will be with me. It have to have courage and not be fearful. And because I have chosen to be obedient and not give up, there will be so many fish that our nets are going to break with offers! He will make sure that who ever needs to bite and to jump into our nets – will, and He will do it in such an overflowing way that it will make us all in awe of His goodness!

I am going where the right fish are! But, it will take me launching out into the deep, to waters of the unknown. Nonetheless, I am still going. I will be strong and very courageous. God is with me.

God is good…all the time! To Him be the Glory!