Sometimes, all I need to relax and to refocus is a Gettysburg sunrise. I adore this battlefield and to see the beauty of it in the morning, is awe inspiring. I have been feeling “stuck” in life lately. It has been very frustrating. So, this blog is not just about the film but also about other parts of my life.
With the film, I am “stuck” until the pitch trailer is finished. But, let’s look at this from an out of the box point of view. First of all, every other fundraising campaign has failed. But, maybe it’s because I just threw them together without careful thought or planning. With this new campaign to be launched next year, I am forced to wait until the trailer is done. This means, I have a lot more time to put into the campaign. So, being “stuck” in a holding pattern is not a bad thing.
With my skating, I have been “stuck” on this one move for a long time. I have been working on these Silver Moves in the Field test patterns for over three years. The set backs included, 2 weeks in the hospital and a year recovery, a broken wrist and a hurt knee. Major setbacks for sure…but I have managed to master every move except, an exit on one of the moves. It should be a very simple thing to manuever. But for me, it is like being stuck on glue. So, do I quit or do I continue? Well, I can’t quit. So, I am forced to continue. But just think how amazing I will feel, once I do pass this test. This test is what is holding me back from competiting and passing my Gold test. I hate the feeling of something that is standing in my way. But, I also have to respect the judges and the rules and do things their way. I have to improve. This is on me. It is on my determination to improve. I don’t always like going to the rink, because it really isn’t fun. It is hard work.
Healthwise, I am good. Finally, the doctors found out why I was having so much trouble sleeping at night. My oxygen was dropping dangerously low. They pinpointed it to the hospital stay a few years ago and being intubated left some scarring. It was a shock to have to be put on “nocturnal” oxygen, but I do feel so much better during the day. I am not sure how long I will be “stuck” on oxygen at night, but I have come to the acceptance that it is for my good and I just need to be thankful that I am alive and well. With my oxygen dropping dangerously low at night (without me even knowing it), I was heading for some serious health complications. Thank God, He saved me AGAIN!
In the next few weeks, I have to get braces to close the gap in my front teeth. This is how dedicated I am to this film series. I feel I have to be at my best. So, I have to do what needs to be done in order for that to happen. I will be “stuck” with braces for close to a year. So, any of the scenes that I am in, will have to wait until the braces come off – should we start filming next year (2019). I believe 2019 is going to bring in a lot of the missing pieces. I believe we will meet our Director and quite possibly the Producers. I plan to be at the American Film Market next year, to introduce our film to potential investors as well.
So if you are “stuck” in situations like I am, take heart. Look for the good that is and will come out of them. We won’t stay “stuck” if we refuse to stay that way. Some people just give up and I for one, refuse to do that. So, I have to go through the processess to get where I need and want to be! What about you? Get your grit on and get to living!
THE MEMOIRS OF SUMMER RAY 