This has been an interesting week. Twice, in different areas, I was pushed to the limit. In one of those cases, someone had help me just to get home. But, I didn’t die. Which, trust me, I was concerned I was going to pass out if I pushed myself too far. I wondered how far is too far. Then I began to think about the film and all that goes with it. I never meant to be an author. I just wrote stuff and then more and more. I love writing screenplays. I love the structure of them and how they challenge me to improve. But, the fact remains. I am an author. I write books, blogs, greeting cards and yes, screenplays. Hiding in the shadows, is comfortable for me. I do not like attention. But, then how will I be able to do the one thing I really want to do, (help people), if I am hidden? I have had (especially women), tell me that “I have helped them more than I will ever know.” People relate to the story of Summer Ray because it is a human interest story.
Lately, I have had way too many distractions to even be able to think straight. With an amazing artist working on our very first pitch poster, I had some time to take a step back. I needed to settle down and just hear God. After working on this project for over nine years, it truly is hard to think of pushing myself ever further. Exhaustion set in and I became so preoccupied having my attention on other issues. But, first things first. I am an author. I need to focus my attention on this part of me and of Summer Ray. Creating the interest in the story, is as important as making sure the screenplay is as excellent as it can be. With all my heart, I believe that it is. It will now be up to the Director to tweek it where he feels it needs it. But, for me personally, I have done all I can do.
It is time to focus my attention on being an author; creating book signings; promoting myself as an author and not just the author of Summer Ray. Using social media – more and more and not just with Facebook. I have to learn the art of these other platforms and I wonder just where in my brain is all of this new information going to fit. But, the brain is able to expand when we are. I just have to push myself to the limit and stop being so comfortable with where I am at. On the ice, learning these higher level moves requires I push myself past what I feel is my breaking point. There is a point where I feel comfortable. But if I want to advance, I must get out of my comfort zone. I must take that next step, even if it doesn’t feel good. Even if I have to exert myself more and feel pain, I still have to move forward or forever be stuck where I am at. So, is where I am at where I want to be, in any area of my life? Or do I want to advance to the higher levels. Do we not need to go out on a limb, because that is where the fruit is? The tree trunks, roots and branches we have built, should be strong enough to hold our calculated risks of us climing out on those limbs to get to the fruit. We have to start trusting our hard work. We have to trust the foundations we have laid and respect the fact that regardless of who says what, we belong where we are meant to be. If I have helped more than I know, just think of the many more I can help. But, I have to push pass my comfort zone and break free from the boundaries I have set. The buzz cannot be created if I don’t reach out. The fruit is there. I just have to be willing to climb, even if it is scary to do so. I am terribly afraid of heights, the same way I am scared to talk to people! No lie. I don’t like being out in the public. But, I have to push passed that fear and just do it anyway.
So for now, while my amazing friend is working on the pitch trailer, I am going to be creating a new author website and working on creating more of a social media presence. I may have put the cart before the horse in a lot of ways. But, I have been so concentrated on the film. I believe as the film moves along, I can move along beside it as an author, promoting it on many different forums with a much bigger presence. Because in all honesty, the audience is the fruit that I want to reach!