NOT ON MY WATCH

trainrain2

I will never forget the day I took this shot. As you can see from the picture, it was pouring. I held in my hands, while standing under a tree, a $2,000 movie camcorder that took still photos. Like other photographers, I did not want to ruin my camera. I stood safely under that tree, until I saw it. Saw what? The million dollar; once in a lifetime; could not ever be duplicated, image. I knew I had only seconds to act. When I saw the steam coming off the train, on top of it, I didn’t care what happened to my camera. There are some things that money cannot put a price on, and this shot is one of them. So, I threw my jacket on top of my camera and stepped out into the deluge of water. I was instantly drenched. But, I didn’t have to wade through hundreds of people or photographers that usually surround this beauty of a train.  In a matter of seconds, I was able to take a few pictures.

But, what would have happened if I didn’t step out into the rain? What if I stayed safely on this sidelines? What if I thought more about my $2,000 camera, instead of the million dollar, once in a lifetime shot? What was more important? Well, as you can see, this image was. It will always be my favorite of this train. But it also serves as a learning tool for me as well.

In regard to this first film, there have been many many delays. Many times I have sat on the sidelines, wishing I had the guts to move forward. I have either been too afraid or too inexperienced. Believe it or not, I am not classified as a “real photographer.” I just like to take pictures. I am also not classified as a “real filmmaker.” I have never gone to school to become a photographer or a filmmaker. But, I am both.  When I see an opportunity that no one else is taking, I need to take that leap of faith and get myself out there, away from the safety of hiding under the trees of protection. Had I not stepped out, no one would have seen this shot as it wouldn’t have been taken. It kind of makes me wonder what I am doing with this film or the screenplay. Should I be out there getting it noticed by going to film festivals and entering contests? As of yet, no one really knows who we are or anything about our project. I have not yet done any major book tours to promote the series. I feel like I am spinning my wheels, and going deeper and deeper in the mud and getting stuck in places and positions that I don’t want to be in.

“Without faith it is impossible to please God.” If you knew me, you would know that is all I want to do.  I want to please God because I love Him so much. But, maybe I have shrunk back in my faith. Maybe I have approached this all wrong. Maybe, I should be out there in the world promoting who we are and what we are all about. It might be raining. But who cares. Sometimes, once in a million offers only come by getting out underneath the protective heading of someone or something and who cares if I get drenched? I don’t mind wet clothes or a wet head. I mind being afraid of what others will think. I mind the feeling of not being good enough. I mind the nagging feeling that there is too much competition out there and I am just not strong enough to handle it. But those are all lies. Anyone who has ever read Summer Ray, even strangers tell me how much they love the series and how they are longing for the films to come out.  So, do I sit idly by hoping a miracle will happen, or do I step out and go make some miracles myself? When the words come out faster than what I can type, I know God is speaking to and through me. I already have my answer. I am going out there; taking that leap of faith; getting out under the protection of the trees that in a storm, could actually do me more harm than good anyway. Right? Right!

We may be small, but we have a huge story! We may have pennies, but we can help to save millions.  We may be a few, but I trust that God will bring in the workers, to help create this amazing story on the big screen. We might get drenched, but we will not allow that once in a lifetime opportunity, to pass us by because we were too scared of the unknown. Nope! Not on my watch!!!

Juliana

P.S. This beauty of a train can be found at Steam Into History; New Freedom, PA

http://www.steamintohistory.com


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