THE MEMOIRS OF SUMMER RAY

This is about the project, but it is also about my life in general. For me, as some of you may know, I have been struggling with health issues. But for the past several months, I have had severe pain in my left hip and thigh. I have been to the doctors. I did get the cortisone shot and it worked like a charm for a few weeks. I can’t get it again for another two months. Tylenol, only takes the edge off. I can’t turn at night without having to lift my leg, or get in my car without having to do the same. So what is the problem? First of all, I walk on the sides of my feet. So I am not actually flat or even arched. For whatever reason, I have not self-corrected it. So by muscle memory, it is just natural for me to walk that way. But the problem is, it isn’t natural. It is unnatural. I have thrown my body off alignment for creating this awful habit. Then when I get into my stiff skating boots that create that alignment, I am thrown off balance – which is actually the normal balance. But for me it is abnormal. Then I recently found out that my feet were too cramped in my skates and I couldn’t spread my toes out to do a spin, thus grounding me while I spin on my “sweet spot.” I could never quite get my spin corrected, because of muscle memory and my toes were not giving me the support I needed. When I would land a jump, oftentimes, I would lean too far out to the side and it was dangerous. Falling is part of the sport. But being off balance, must be corrected. My left leg is my spinning leg. It takes a lot of the load from skating. It’s my lunge leg too. Meaning, I have to stretch it low enough to the ground to make a proper lunge. If I stretch too far, or don’t stretch enough before I skate, I can hurt my hip. Which, I believe is God showing me how I hurt it. Because for the last few months, I had no idea. But I do remember trying to be super woman one afternoon, and I do remember over stretching. I have been hurting and suffering from it ever since. So first let me say, “Thank You, God” for being to my attention what I did.

So now the task is, trying to get myself back into alignment by realignment. It is like when we drive our car out of alignment and the tires get bald on the inside first, or it can cause the car to shake etc. Alignment is defined as ” the proper positioning.” Realignment is defined as, “the action of changing or restoring something to a different or former position or state.” Getting COVID threw off my system to the point, I now suffer from Dysautonomia. It is where my Autonomic Nervous System dysfunctions. ANS – “the part of the nervous system responsible for control of the bodily functions not consciously directed, such as breathing, the heartbeat, and digestive processes.” Things automatically that we don’t think about like breathing and swallowing, I have trouble with. There are times when I stop doing both because the signals to tell them to do so, are interfered with. I am now consciously aware of my body at all times. So, I am supercharged and stressed like all the time. Which isn’t good either because my entire body is thrown off balance. I am out of alignment with things that are supposed to be done, without me even thinking about them. I am limited with what I can do and where I can go. That is why I was so determined to stretch my leg out for skating. But I did it wrong and I am still paying the price. My pride got the better of me. But I am so tired of being limited. I was such a free spirt before COVID. Now, I feel like my wings are clipped and it absolutely sucks. So, I have to figure out how to restore my wings without doing more harm. First of all, I need to go to the Word of God.

“but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 (KJ21)

“But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.” (AMPC)

COVID zapped me of my strength and endurance. Last year, I could not walk two feet without having to stop and rest. I have since then, am able to walk a mile without stopping. But if I try to walk more, my neck and throat muscles swell. It is extremely frustrating. When I skate, I still need the CPAP after about 10 or 15 minutes to help me breathe. So, I am having to realign myself with waiting on God, and only doing what I can do and a little more. I need to change my diet. I need to stretch, but as my coach Cathy says, “Only until I feel a gentle pull.” If I overexert myself, or overextend my muscles, I end up out of alignment and I throw my balance off my life. I have to trust that the timing of God’s is perfect. He knows my ailments. He knows how I long to get this project into production. But I also know His timing is perfect, ailments and all. He has incorporated my life into the release of the pilot. So, I am not too soon, or not too late. God is always on time. It is exciting because I am not going to miss it. God will make sure of it. Over the last few weeks, God has given me bits and pieces of the 8th book and it has literally been jaw dropping. I will rise up. But first, I have to rise up in my mind. My body at the moment feels like hell. Literally! But I have to first rise up in my mind and say, “I am being restored.” Last year I couldn’t walk two feet without stopping. This year, I am walking a mile. That is progress. The problems arise when I want the progress too fast. But, there again, I must trust in God’s timing. I need the correct skates. I need the correct food. I need the correct balance to stretching. I need to be the best me…period. There is a lot of work in front of us. This project could take anywhere from 3-5 years (if not more) to complete once we start production. I still have books and scripts to write too. My health the last few years, has not been kind. I have severely struggled to stay afloat and alive. But I kept persevering as my good friend Kathy kept telling me…perseverance – “persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.” The odds have been against this project for sure and soon I will address it (possibly via a video). But I look at the example President Trump is. He has had three assassination attempts and yet he keeps going. Why? It is because he loves this country and the American people. He persists because he knows America depends on it. For me, I know souls depend on me doing my part, to help bring light to a very dark world. It is why I persist. It is why I do not quit. Trust me, there were times, I didn’t think my body was going to allow me to keep going. But here I am and Praise God. He is with me, just like He is with President Trump and J.D. Vance. Our jobs are different, but they are the same in one respect…salvation. We must vote them into office in a few weeks. There won’t be an America any other way. Summer Ray is a patriot and if she could vote, she would vote for them! In the meantime, I am working on restoring my wings, so that I can be the best me to present this project to the world, in the best way possible!

References: www.biblegateway.com; www.dictionary.com; Google